Peer Review-Vivian

What she did well:
     She told us the main point of the poem Mujer is about a black Persian cat. And she gave the description of the Persian cat: it is a symbol of unlucky, and people are usually afraid of them. Besides that in the introduction, she mentioned that the meaning of the poem is everyone is equal and that was the speaker want to sent to the reader. Then she gave analysis of the poem, and she defined the term of phrase in the lines. Such as "Then, they “took you for rest”. I think they just kill this “unlucky black persian cat”; it just like “that old”. In my opinion, “Yankee farm” is the heaven. Even there are “so many field mice”, the cat still feel very lonely. In the end, “you return to us” because the retribution is coming." I can see that what do the poem mean to "we took you rest to that old", people were being afraid of that Persian cat, so they killed it and covered the reason by saying it is old. Also it was an interesting interpretation that to define the Yankee farm as heaven. After that she gave more analysis to the rest of the poem and talking about the title and the deep meaning.
What she need to improve on:
  Although your analysis was interesting and make sense, it is a little confusing while I was reading it. When I read through half of your paper. I felt like the point of paper is about the Persian cat, and people dislikes it so they kill it. The speaker wanted say that everything is equal and people shouldn't kill the cat because it was symbol of unlucky. However, as I was continued reading it, I soon realized the Persian cat is refer to a woman in ancient times. The title Mujer also means woman. I got confused since I can't figure out how can a woman be related to a Persian cat. I think woman wasn't a symbol of unlucky and people won't be afraid of it. Although she said that the Persian cat is a metaphor in this poem and the real meaning of that woman in the past. she didn't make enough desertion about the connection between the that woman and the Persian cat. I think that she put her description about her opinion in the second paragraph in front of giving the deeper meaning of the poem. is her thoughts right that the Yankee farm was refer to the heaven, and people killed the Persian cat and send it to heaven. So that it is more organized and more understandable. Then she can write about the deeper meaning which is woman did not choose their fate to be a woman, and woman is not treated equally as man based on the analysis she had made and proved. Also her introduction is a little bit "hollow" which started with "A weeks ago, I read a poem called Mujer." It's better to start it with a hook like something to attract reader's attention. I suggested that she can define the term "Persian Cat" at first, and tell a little bit about how people dislike it and make a relation to the poem. Then translate to the thesis. Actually, her thesis is not strong enough or she didn't really have a thesis. Her thesis can be about the equality between people, but not just saying that "I think the speaker's point was about the equality between people." Overall, there is too much I think in this paper, trying to avoid using them or you can use another phrase such as in my opinion. And the last sentence was confusing since I did not understand the meaning of it. "If you don’t do that, the retribution will come soon."